Holiday Rush
by Cally Starkiller
Summary: The Normandy crew celebrates the various human holidays, and the alien crewmembers have no choice but to participate. First holiday: Thanksgiving Day.
1. A DeepFried Awkward Thanksgiving Dinner

**This story took me far too long to do. **

**School started. yay...**

**Snrk snrk.**

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy. **

**Sorry if it gets slackish in the end, I was hurrying to finish up. **

**I was CLEARLY taking too long on this one. **

**Gah. **

**Again, enjoy!**

* * *

"So Thanksgiving?" Joker nudged Shepard who was busily opening various 'Happy Thanksgiving' emails.

"Yeah well, its tradition." Shepard shrugged, deleting the one from the asari consort who somehow figured out it was a human holiday today.

"Tradition? Since when did you start caring about tradition?" Joker said incredulously, peering over his Commander's shoulder to risk a glimpse at her emails. The one by Kaidan had several reply emails back.

"Ever since I became a firm believer in eating." Shepard slipped him a wink and closed her personal terminal, sighing heavily. "You, me, and Garrus. Three Thanksgiving dinners."

"Yeah…hey what?" Joker sputtered, "Thr-three dinners? That's impossible!" Joker followed his Commander to the elevator, all the while a small grin on her face.

"This is the day we've been training for. This shall be our finest hour!" Shepard said proudly, patting her stomach with a sense of pride about her.

"More like our final hour." Joker muttered, shaking his head. Shepard either didn't hear him or chose to ignore him as the two entered her cabin.

"Feed my fish will you?" Shepard asked while rummaging through her clothes for something suitable to wear for this century old holiday. Finally just picking to wear her N7 casual wear, she fled to the bathroom as Joker eased himself into her chair, staring at her exotic fish.

"I named one of them after you!" Shepard yelled from the bathroom, jumping up to fit into her N7 sweats. Joker's only response was a snort.

"You name everything after everybody." Joker pointed out, watching as the fish known as Joker swam around in circles like a maniac. "Is he doing the Crazy Ivan?" Joker wondered aloud, realizing just how silly he must've sounded.

"Not everything." Shepard argued, coming out of the bathroom and tugging her black hair behind her ears.

"Oh yeah? What about 'love seat'?" Joker air-quoted, glancing at the love seat in question from the corner of his eye.

"That's the official name for one those and you know it." Shepard narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms.

"No. It's a couch. Not a 'love seat'." Joker leaned forward, equally trying to look intimidating.

"Love seat." Shepard stepped closer, face lowered.

"Couch." Joker smirked, knowing exactly where this was going to end up.

"Love seat."

"Couch."

"Love seat!"

"Couch!"

"Couch…crap!" Shepard threw up her arms in frustration while Joker laughed his ass off, nearly falling off his seat. "Commander. I landed the Normandy at the airlock and Mr. Vakarian is waiting." EDI informed them, breaking up their little 'fight'.

"Fine." Shepard scowled as she reached for her nearby pistol and headed to the elevator along with a still chuckling Joker. "This day will be the death of me."

"Please! You faced much, much worse. Saren, geth, Sovereign, Collectors, Reapers…" Joker counted them off with his fingers, waving his hand around in her face. "So…three dinners?"

"Yep." Shepard said happily, leaning against the elevator wall, most likely imagining all the delicious food.

"Okay but whose?" Joker inquired, tugging his trusty cap on tighter.

"Captain Bailey and the C-Sec team, the Normandy crew, and…Kaidan." Joker stared at Shepard, eyes squinting.

"Whoa, since when did you and Kaidan get so buddy-buddy?" Joker asked, a hint of jealousy hidden underneath his voice. He thought she broke up with him on Horizon. _What gives?_

"Kaidan and I have been talking a bit. You know, through emails. And we decided to be just friends." Shepard shrugged, not making it seem like a big deal. But it was to the surprised Joker. "What?"

"Does…Garrus know about this?" Joker asked, barely mumbling out Garrus' name. The second guy to get the girl.

"Oh sure." Shepard nodded vicariously, the lie obvious.

"Uh huh." Joker humored her as he limped out of the elevator and to the airlock where Garrus stood who was giving Shepard a few not so inconspicuous lovey-dovey glances.

"Hey Shepard." Garrus greeted when they got into voice-range, giving Joker a polite nod. Some days, it felt like as if Garrus knew that Joker had a 'sort of crush' on the Commander. But then again, that could be just his paranoia kicking in.

Joker inwardly sighed as the trio waited for their cab to pick them up. About five minutes later, he couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry but do they know where we are?"

"Well it looks someone isn't getting a tip." Shepard muttered as the shuttle finally came by, the driver a young human who kept staring at his omni-tool, the map application open. "To Zakera Ward."

"Which dinner is first?" Joker asked, hoping to god that it wasn't Kaidan's. He had nothing against the guy, except for the fact that he got the girl first and he didn't.

"Bailey's. Their's is early, plus I heard that they a wide variety of levo and dextro amino foods." Shepard grinned, the image of a turkey popping into her head.

"I really don't know the whole point for this human holiday of your's. All it looks like to me is that you just eat a bunch of food. You do that everyday." Garrus said, confused. Shepard gave a small chuckle before explaining.

"But this occasion is special. Its where everybody: friends, family, relatives; all get together to eat and talk and spend time together. And usually down on Earth in the small places where corn fields still grow, they make a huge hay maze and we have to search through it and have…fun." Shepard trailed off, nostalgic getting to her. "But that's all down on Earth."

Joker noticed the distress in Shepard's eyes and in no way was he going to face a sad Commander. "But for now…we get to deal with a bunch of cops and a huge meal that we didn't have to cook ourselves." Joker finished, glancing at his Commander.

"Exactly." Shepard perked up a little as they landed, shuttle door swinging open. "To Bailey's!" The three went off down the hallway, about to head into the C-Sec headquarters before the infamous scanner turian stopped them.

"Sorry for the inconvenience ma'am." Shepard raised an eyebrow, wondering if this whole inconvenience thing was a joke. Five minutes later…"Sorry for the incon-"

The doors automatically opened, startling the turian. Bailey turned toward the turian, pointing his finger threateningly. "I thought I already told you to let these guys through!" The turian went wide-eyed if that were possible and sighed, completely embarrassed and all too knowing of the fact that he was going to get fired.

"Sorry sir." The turian waved them through while Garrus and Joker were barely holding in their laughter. Shepard fake saluted the C-Sec turian before heading in, only partially noticing a few people in the interrogation room.

"Where to Bailey?" Shepard smiled, and added in, "Also thanks for inviting us. Is it okay if I brought these guys? They're my three stooges."

Bailey chuckled, noticing the old reference, and nodded. "Yeah no problem Shepard." He led them the way to the interrogation room, where apparently the dinner was being served. Two long tables were out on either side of the room, the chair hidden by a large blanket, and several C-Sec cops and officers were already sitting down and talking animatedly.

"Sure you won't need this room for beating up prisoners Captain?" Shepard smirked, leaning against the chair, remembering the time her and Thane played good cop bad cop. Bailey just shook his head, waving her off as he sat down at his own seat.

Conveniently, three chairs were empty beside Bailey as Garrus, Joker, and Shepard took their spots, watching the C-Sec officers having a lively debate about whether or not they should celebrate Christmas. Shepard looked at the human turkey and looked at the blue goop which had a sign right next to it saying, 'Turian Version of Turkey.'

Shepard took Garrus' plate and proceeded to slop the blue squish food onto his plate. Garrus mumbled a 'thanks' before digging in. But Bailey stopped him, "Shouldn't we give thanks first?"

Everybody stared at him, eyes wondering. "Thanks for what?" Shepard finally asked, looking to the Captain.

"Well um…that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox-infested blankets." Bailey managed to say, looking around him while saying so; the humans only understanding that one. "And um…that we're not a bunch of krogan who just fought a war and…got rewarded with the genophage developed by turians and salarians."

After a moment when Shepard saw that it didn't offend anyone she finalized it with an "Amen."

"Ding-dong." Shepard mimicked the bell as the trio waited outside Kaidan's apartment.

"You sure you're okay with the whole Sherry thing Shepard?" Garrus asked, for he knew all about the woman who was with Kaidan Alenko. Shepard responded with a solemn nod and the door to Kaidan's apartment opened, presenting the doctor known as Sherry Ashton.

"Hi! You must be Kaidan's former Commander. And you're…Joker right? And the turian is Garrus Vakarian?" Sherry smiled, giving them each a glance before letting them in. "Kaidan your friends are here."

Kaidan walked from the adjacent room and to the lobby, almost looking seemingly nervous. But that could just be their imagination. "Hey Shepard. Joker. Garrus."

Shepard gave him a grin, Joker gave him a mumbled 'Hi', and Garrus gave him a grunt. Kaidan showed them their seats, the plates already filled up with the appropriate foods. Kaidan sat on the end seat, next to Shepard, and Garrus beside Shepard and Joker across from the couple while Sherry sat on the far side.

Shepard picked at her food, fork stabbing the turkey bits and poked at the mashed potatoes.

Garrus sat there, barely looking at his own meal as he kept giving Kaidan 'looks', eyes darting between the former LT and Shepard.

Kaidan nervously looked around, gaze settling on Shepard every once in a while as he wrung his hands anxiously.

Sherry twirled her spoon around in her fingers, closely observing the turian and Kaidan's former Commander, noting just how pretty she looked without even trying.

Joker noticed the tense atmosphere and tried to lighten up the mood, catching everyone's attention when he lightly banged his hands on the table. "So…have I told you guys my hotel story yet?" A small shake of their heads and Joker continued.

"Well there was this hotel called Citadel 8 Hotel. On my last day there I was checking out and this couple were quickly stuffing white robes into their suitcases. Suspicious but I didn't say anything. Weeks later the hotel shut down or something, but anyways…for my next shore leave I stayed at this other hotel named Interspecies Inn."

Everybody was listening intently, waiting for Joker to continue. "And when I was coming in with my bag, I remembered the same couple from that other hotel and they were being chased around by the asari receptionist and the asari was calling C-Sec. Apparently, the couple was known for stealing bathrobes at Citadel hotels…so…yeah."

The room was extremely quiet after Joker's bad antidote. "I guess we should go now." Shepard said after ten minutes of awkward silence and nearly everybody jumped in their seats in surprise.

"Yeah. Thanks for coming Shepard." Kaidan lightly shook hands with Shepard, the two meeting eyes before breaking away. Shepard led the agitated turian and bored pilot out of the apartment, flustered and relieved to be out of there.

"She's pretty." Sherry said quickly, gathering up the uneaten plates and throwing them away, not knowing that Shepard was Kaidan's previous 'love interest'.

"Guess we can stop in by the Normandy to see if Rupert is done cooking." Shepard said, taking a huge breath right when they left Kaidan's.

Garrus held onto Shepard's hand possessively, earning a small scowl from Joker and a strange look from Shepard herself. The 'Three Stooges' went to the public transit shuttle, hurrying to get back to the ship for their third dinner today.

When they entered the Normandy, they headed straight to the elevator, the slow ride down to the mess hall uneventful. They could hear loud noises emanating from the kitchen as they rounded the corner, all three stopping suddenly as the sight in front of them shocked the three.

"I swear! It tastes better this way!" Hadley grabbed the uncooked turkey and stuffed down a boiling pot, much to the distaste of Rupert.

"I'm a COOK! You're just some crewman. You know nothing of cooking a Thanksgiving dinner!" Rupert exploded, using a cooking tool to try and take the turkey out of the pot. "Who deep fries turkey anymore?"

"Deep fried turkey?" Shepard, Joker, and Garrus said in unison, eyes wide.

"Ah Shepard!" Rupert calmed himself down for his Commander, almost looking relieved at the sight of her. "Sorry, dinner isn't ready yet. As you can see…"

"Oh well that's alright. We'll just wait here till then." At that moment, Shepard's video call on her omni-tool beeped and she answered after a moment, looking at the caller I.D. "Anderson?"

"Shepard? Okay, I need to you to come to dinner with us." Even though it was thro a blurry connection, Anderson looked tired and worn out.

"What…why?" Shepard peered down at the screen, eyebrows scrunching up in confusion.

"Just do it as a favor for me. I'd really rather not eat Thanksgiving dinner alone with the Council."

"The Council? Since when did they start celebrating human holidays?" Shepard asked incredulously, near to the point of thinking that Anderson was kidding around with her.

"Ever since I became the first human councilor and they wanted to improve human relations. Just get down here. ASAP." The call ended abruptly, Shepard sighing loudly.

"What's wrong?" Garrus looked over to her, still cradling her hand.

"Time for a fourth dinner." Shepard scowled, getting up and to the elevator with Joker and Garrus following.

"You're kidding me…right?" Joker saw that his Commander was NOT kidding.

"Oi vey." Shepard shook her head, leaning against the elevator wall with an exasperated look on. The trio took the Kodiak this time, going to the Presidium where Councilor Anderson's office was at. "Ready for more awkwardness?"

"No." Joker muttered, crossing his arms as they wanted for the shuttle to arrive at the Presidium. Shepard chose not to reply to that as the silence droned on and on. Finally, the Kodiak arrived at the Presidium and the three rushed the rest of the way to Anderson's office.

"You should tell them I got sick." Shepard said anxiously, wanting to get out of this place.

"Sick? That's the best you could come up with?" Joker piped, looking at his Commander strangely. Surely she could thought of something better than that.

"Sorry Gimpy, but my mind is on a rollercoaster at the moment." Shepard raised an eyebrow, and Joker just shook his head, limping on.

"Hopefully this won't be some secret plan to get you to join the Alliance." Garrus chimed in after a while, hand in hand with Shepard.

"If it is…" Shepard didn't finish that thought. At last they got to Anderson's office, the three friends standing among the door timidly. "Shall we go in?"

Joker and Garrus gave their nods and on they went in, presented with a surprising scene. Anderson's desk was replaced with a long table which had various plates of suitable foods for each race: Turian, asari, salarian, and human. "Nice spread." Joker whispered.

Anderson walked over, showing them their seats and the humans sat across from the tense Council, every single of their eyes staring at Shepard. They each gave her a polite shake of their heads and the dinner proceeded.

_So far no ulterior motive. _Shepard thought as she took a bite out of her corn, enjoying its taste. Smashing her mashed potatoes into her gravy, she gave the still staring turian councilor a wink and took a small bite. The turian just bared his teeth slightly, digging into his blue goop.

The alien food looked disgusting to the humans while the human food looked disgusting to the others. Garrus gave Shepard's food a small discreet sniff, recoiling at the spicy smell. Joker nudged him, rolling his eyes at Garrus. Garrus huffed and ate hungrily into his own food.

The meal went on quietly, no conversation at all. And for once, Shepard didn't mind the silence. "Thanks for joining us Shepard." The asari councilor said after everybody finished up their plates of food, kind as ever.

"No problem…ma'am." Every time one of the councilors smiled or frowned at her, she had to bite back the urge to rant on about how the Reapers were real and how they were acting like fools. Sure, she accepted their petty invite to reinstate her as a Spectre, but the animosity between the group was still there.

"I should go." Shepard got up quickly, banging her hip against the table, resulting in spilling her gravy over her plate. She patted Anderson on the back, who hadn't said anything to her while they were there, and left with her friends. "That was…relaxing. For the most part anyways…"

"Relaxing? It didn't feel like as if I should've been there." Joker limped alongside her, much to Garrus' disdain…unless that his imagination again.

"I expected them to lecture me or take me in for treason about being with Cerberus." Shepard led the group to the Kodiak, where their pilot was waiting impatiently. "That was a Thanksgiving to remember."

"Four meals…I can't believe we ate FOUR Thanksgiving dinners." Joker said incredulously, sighing heavily as he sat down inside the shuttle, watchful of his legs.

"Technically two. We didn't really eat at…Kaidan's…nor the Rupert's dinner." Shepard corrected, barely saying her 'friend's' name.

"Why was that so awkward? I mean…I don't get it." Joker replied, catching a glance at Garrus.

"I guess a few emails doesn't heal everything Joker." Shepard rested her head against the stiff looking turian, earning a small purr. Joker faced away from the couple, looking out the window. Shepard's love life was screwed up, and he tried his best to not be a part of it. Joker watched as various people strolled through the walkways, oblivious to the Reaper threat, the Council's coddling, and the dirty secrets they held.

"What a wonderful galaxy we live in…" Joker half-mumbled to himself, mind wandering off. The Kodiak arrived at the Normandy, all of them getting off to enjoy one last meal with their fellow crewmates and friends.

The pilot followed Shepard's 'gang' to the mess hall, a deep-fried turkey and deep-fried boot greeting them. "I'm not even going to bother asking why the hell a boot is doing on the table." Garrus cut in into the arguing crew member's conversation.

A few alcoholic drinks were out, some people stuffing their faces full or singing drunkenly. "Time for a Commander Shepard speech!" Hadley shouted, eyes glazed over and gravy sticking to his hair.

Everybody cheered as Shepard grinned impishly and got up to the front of the room, the stress falling off of her as she was among friends. "Thanksgiving is a time for friends and family to join each other and thank for whatever it is their thankful for. I'm thankful that we're alive." A couple claps. "I'm thankful for having meeting a new crew." More claps. "I'm thankful for the second chance I was given." Understanding nods and claps.

"But most of all…I'm thankful for old friends gone, those who stayed, and those who passed on."

Every single crew member took that time to remember those closest to them, those who have died to help them against the Collectors, and those they loved. Garrus smiled, Shepard's image popping into his head. Tali blushed slightly, taking a moment to remember Kal'Reegar's messages.

But Shepard wasn't thinking of Kaidan, Garrus, Tali, or even Chakwas. She was thinking of the one ultimate sacrifice her friend had made just for them. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. Virmire.

Shepard raised her glass of crystal clear water. "For the lost." Everybody did the same, glasses of drinks raised high in the air. Commander Cally Shepard smiled widely, grateful for everything she was given, no matter what it was. "Fight for the lost."


	2. What is Labor Day?

**I know this is EXTREMELY short. **

**But I've been having severe writer's block for a long time.**

**And this was the cure.**

**Another chapter to the Holiday Rush series.**

**So I decided to show this to you people as to tell you...**

**I AM NOT DEAD!**

**No writer's block shall hold me back!**

**I shall get right back to finishing out any other oneshots or chapter stories that I have finished.**

**And show 'em to you nice people VERY very soon.**

**Enjoy.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

"What is 'Labor Day' Commander?" Garrus asked with a twitch of his mandible, looking curiously over his shoulder at her. Shepard scrunched up her eyebrows, searching for the right words to describe Garrus' sudden question.

"Well its…its um…"Shepard attempted to answer his question but realized that her herself did not know. She opened up her omni-tool, the orange glow lightening up her pale face as she searched for human holidays, berating herself for not knowing the meaning of it. She clicked on a link and read its contents to Garrus. "Traditionally, Labor Day is celebrated by most humans as the symbolic end of summer. The day is usually regarded as the day of rest and parties."

"Why do you ask?" Shepard glanced up at the thinking Garrus, who was now fully in her view, turned away from the console.

"Just curious. I was looking up your culture and decided to look into the holidays." Garrus shrugged, trying to the make the point obvious that he was NOT trying to impress her of his knowledge of human culture, but instead trying to learn.

"Uh huh." Shepard mumbled, repositioning herself on the crate, kicking her legs up lazily, plugging her omni-tool music to her internal ear buds.

Garrus interrupted her again with another question. "But that doesn't explain the reason why you humans celebrate it." With a silent huff, Shepard slid off the crate and leaned against the railing, once again looking up the meaning of 'Labor Day'.

"In sports, Labor Day marks the beginning for the football season. And the form for the celebration of Labor Day was outlined in the first proposal of the holiday: A street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations," followed by a festival for the workers and their families. This became the pattern for Labor Day celebrations." Shepard scrolls through the information again, nodding slowly, happy with her little definition.

As Shepard saw that Garrus was content with the piece of information she sent him, she went back to 'her' crate and once again turned on her music, humming softly to the rhythm. A few minutes pass and Garrus interrupts once more with another question.

"Wait…what's football?"


End file.
